last day

I said to myself I would get to bed early tonight for tomorrow's busiest day for som. I dunno how hectic it can get, but seemed like today was really busy with the errands we had to do for the big event tomorrow. Hannah and I are on the o ya and Manuel are on the social committee/club whatever. We were quite productive today to be honest. We pretty much have everything for tomorrow's banquet/graduation/nerd night event. It should be fun.
Hannah and I get to mc the whole nite...it should be something else.
Time did fly by...I can't really believe I made it...well I still have another month, but the 4 months have been quite the journey for me and lil heart. My heart just needs some rest and peace and lotsa love from my own peeps. I miss my kinda ppl at times. I miss talking in Cree at times....I've gotten so tainted that I don't even talk to papa in Cree....thinking he's white. naw, that's not true, but it's just amazing how the environment you are in can affect the way you think and (act. well that's sometimes). I think I'm still pretty much indian the way I carry myself. I still see ppl giving me the "look", but it's good. I don't really mind it cause I learned and known that I don't have to change the way I am....indian as I can get/be.
I've learned stuff about people and my leaders and myself as well. It's been good and at times bad, but that usually was my own doing. Anyhoop, I just know I need so much experience so I can learn from stuff and others to be a better leader. I see my skills are not so great and it's a drag at times when I don't feel like doing anything, and yet I know I have to do it...The worst part I would say is losing vision... i did used to love giving my time for papa and others and for myself as well and then slowly I lost sight and didn't admire giving my time to papa, others and me. That is the worst place to be. I hate it. It just shows time and time again how weak I am, and I need to humble myself and maybe I should ask for help....but not all the time. I am learning and most of the time, it's great but right now, I just need time for....ME!
Im headin home to my parents new house. How fun can that get??? wow Christmas in my own home town with my whole family...it'll be sweet and oh so lovely. I can just imagine it now....i love Christmas holiday but not the shopping so much anymore... I just want family and friends and that would do me just FINE...merry christmas!