This is IT

SSSOOO much has gone on... goodness, let me say just a few thingies.
I've been struggling with some things for a while and today while I was spending time with papa, he showed me how my heart is religious. He said in a way that made me laugh at myself and it's true. I still need to think on it. And deep down I feel the need to tell either Sarah or Cathy about this struggle but it's I dunno, we'll see. I usually am pretty sure of the things that my dad tells me, but for some reason I feel like I need to talk about this thing. It has to do with God time.

ANyway this week is special because I am on this walk where I dedicated myself to do pilates every night and not when I want to and Melissa and I agreed that since she is my instructor, she will say it's time to do our routine and not even ask if I want to join. So there we go. And then we also said we were goin to cut on the sugar/junk food altogether including Hannah. So this will be about team work, being faithful and dedicated and sacrificial. These are my goals.YES!! I feel determination coming on...keep comin....please do.

This weekend has given me a sort of wake up call I guess. During prophetic presbytery, I knew that my love for doing things...i think everything spiritual... has grown cold. I was discouraged, but sunday service didn't feel like I getting somewhere. I felt stony or outa touch. At times I think I may just be picking up things and pray and I dunno. It's just been a bit strange.
But tonight felt like and know that things are gonna change. I felt within me a voice calling out - I will not give up. Rise up Fawn. And so here am feeling that urge to voice out what really is goin on and saying things will change for the much better. amen.

This past weekend, I had the urgency to clean out my whole room and change a bit and decorate. I did a good job and Im feeling really at home. Niki loves it. I decorated using Starbucks cups (colored ones) and hung them on the ceiling and the cups have these beautiful Christmas colored sleeves on them and it just looks to nice and my friend Michelle gave me lights so it just sets the Christmas cozy spirit. hmmm, dunno if that is even right. Anyway I won a jar of candies at the harvest party and all have been eaten by everyone here in the office and so I had this empty beautiful glass jar. I think this was the Holy Spirit telling me to be more creative. I washed the jar and filled it with water and I have this one earing that lost its partner. Anyway it's round and is about the size of an oreo and has colors on it and so I thought, this could be my gold multi colored fish. And I have a necklace that kinda looks like a starfish and so now we have a fish bowl and a fake fish and a mini sail that tipped over and a starfish in it. It's so beatiful, well, at least in my eyes. And then I set up a mini entertainment chair decorated in a white sheet and I put Niki's laptop so we could watch movies (from time to time) and we borrowed speakers from one of her friends...she kinda stole them cause her friend didn't know she went in one of the rooms to borrow the mini speakers...Anyway, we're gonna take them back. So that was Sunday and tonight I went out and bought 3 xmas cds. One by Louis Armstrong, the Chipmunks and one of my favorites Celine Dion. So there we are, ready for Christmas.
What else...my former roomate left tonight to go back to England for 3 months or so. It's quite sad but I know it is for the far far better. This one is a bit more of a sensitive one, so why don't I just leave this one out. But ya my friend left school and I am sad, but I know papa is here with me to comfort my heart.
So weird, two days in a row, I longed to for a mother's hug...so hard at times, but I think I can get that somehow by my papa...he apparently has a mother's heart. Interestin, but anyway I should go check on the laundry. !!!!!!!