Contemplate Now

d'you ever wonder where you meant to be in the long run? I've not experienced permanent or longevity in some thing or place or work. Everything is so temporary, at least in my lil world. As I get slightly older, I wonder where on earth could I possibly build my home. I only own a car, electric n acoustic guitar, laptop, ipod and a camera and leather pants. No home. I have family, but it's not the same. I'd like to have my own space. I may be maturing. A tad late I think. Or was it totally meant to be this way...... So where shall we go Jesus?

I want to see what my house would look like, would it be very random and full of colour? where is it? I know my bathrooms would be clean. So where should I go? I know wherever I go, I will find my home in Him in me. But what if I found a permanent job and own a place, would I know how to settle? Would I be able to stay put or would I be itching to leave the country every six months or so? Should I even bother settling somewhere or continue on with my nomadic life? I have to decide. I know for sure I want my special peeps in my life. I can't seem to go without. I used to live totally on my own and not have tight peepsters in my life and never had issues!!! ;) But something extraordinary happened and now I long to be with the ones I love. I know they love me too. I seem to "live" when I am with the ones I adore....

I got no deep roots here, so why am I here? I have no idea. Family is one thing, but other than that, I'm a wandering soul. I've had this way of thinking every where I've lived since i was kid. I won't decorate or buy much cause I won't be here for a long time anyway. I've lived in many homes and so it's very easy to just "visit" wherever I happen to live... again temporarily. I've been very simple all these years. I never minded not having a dresser when I used to live in the city. Simplicity was my way of living or was it avoiding the creativity to flow in what I could have done? who knows. Or was I just mindless of such matters so I would not get in touch with the deep things of the heart. So much to discover!

I thought of 2 things this morning when I got up, one I can't recall at the mo, but I used to like to run at my own pace of course, run as in that physical activity. mmmmm the other ... still can retrieve it from the brain. Anyhow, it had to do with the things l like to do.

I will go back to writing these days and see if it's possible to publish random notes of the nomad. I shall now enjoy the sun out there in my backyard with a book and a dog with me. Haven't seen the sun since I've been back I think. It's been a while. so long blog! have a good day!