Kalamazoo

So im in Michigan and we are enjoying our time here and it's been mostly fun. We've been prophesying over people and we're about to do some more at the mall and we will get to shop as well!! praise the lord. The peeps here are great. I have not much time to sit n talk with them as we have not made it in on time last nite. I made a wrong turn n we disconnected from the other van...i think they forgave me and us all. its been fun and I had boiled eggs for breakfast. It was eggstra special. I love eggs and real breakfast. anyway I dont have all day time to write but so far its been good and my leadership skills have been sharpened and I felt somewhat odd for a half hour but Im ok now. I got prophesied over by the team n it was good. amen.

This is IT

SSSOOO much has gone on... goodness, let me say just a few thingies.
I've been struggling with some things for a while and today while I was spending time with papa, he showed me how my heart is religious. He said in a way that made me laugh at myself and it's true. I still need to think on it. And deep down I feel the need to tell either Sarah or Cathy about this struggle but it's I dunno, we'll see. I usually am pretty sure of the things that my dad tells me, but for some reason I feel like I need to talk about this thing. It has to do with God time.

ANyway this week is special because I am on this walk where I dedicated myself to do pilates every night and not when I want to and Melissa and I agreed that since she is my instructor, she will say it's time to do our routine and not even ask if I want to join. So there we go. And then we also said we were goin to cut on the sugar/junk food altogether including Hannah. So this will be about team work, being faithful and dedicated and sacrificial. These are my goals.YES!! I feel determination coming on...keep comin....please do.

This weekend has given me a sort of wake up call I guess. During prophetic presbytery, I knew that my love for doing things...i think everything spiritual... has grown cold. I was discouraged, but sunday service didn't feel like I getting somewhere. I felt stony or outa touch. At times I think I may just be picking up things and pray and I dunno. It's just been a bit strange.
But tonight felt like and know that things are gonna change. I felt within me a voice calling out - I will not give up. Rise up Fawn. And so here am feeling that urge to voice out what really is goin on and saying things will change for the much better. amen.

This past weekend, I had the urgency to clean out my whole room and change a bit and decorate. I did a good job and Im feeling really at home. Niki loves it. I decorated using Starbucks cups (colored ones) and hung them on the ceiling and the cups have these beautiful Christmas colored sleeves on them and it just looks to nice and my friend Michelle gave me lights so it just sets the Christmas cozy spirit. hmmm, dunno if that is even right. Anyway I won a jar of candies at the harvest party and all have been eaten by everyone here in the office and so I had this empty beautiful glass jar. I think this was the Holy Spirit telling me to be more creative. I washed the jar and filled it with water and I have this one earing that lost its partner. Anyway it's round and is about the size of an oreo and has colors on it and so I thought, this could be my gold multi colored fish. And I have a necklace that kinda looks like a starfish and so now we have a fish bowl and a fake fish and a mini sail that tipped over and a starfish in it. It's so beatiful, well, at least in my eyes. And then I set up a mini entertainment chair decorated in a white sheet and I put Niki's laptop so we could watch movies (from time to time) and we borrowed speakers from one of her friends...she kinda stole them cause her friend didn't know she went in one of the rooms to borrow the mini speakers...Anyway, we're gonna take them back. So that was Sunday and tonight I went out and bought 3 xmas cds. One by Louis Armstrong, the Chipmunks and one of my favorites Celine Dion. So there we are, ready for Christmas.
What else...my former roomate left tonight to go back to England for 3 months or so. It's quite sad but I know it is for the far far better. This one is a bit more of a sensitive one, so why don't I just leave this one out. But ya my friend left school and I am sad, but I know papa is here with me to comfort my heart.
So weird, two days in a row, I longed to for a mother's hug...so hard at times, but I think I can get that somehow by my papa...he apparently has a mother's heart. Interestin, but anyway I should go check on the laundry. !!!!!!!

life is life

well, well, well. What could I possibly say to make my life more uplifting without the sugar. Pour some sugar on me so I won't have to get in into my body system. Anyway I will overcome this! I think it's about 52 days when we start celebrating Christmas. And less than 60 days til I fly outa this country!! Brazil here I come. It hit me last night while I was sitting in Cathy's couch talking away about stuff and reality hit, I'll be 30 very soon. I'm not worried, but I have no proof that I am very intelligent and my marital status says -divorced-. I know I have an amazing life ahead of me, but I feel like I should get something goin on here, but there's nothing much I can do now except to look forward to my birthday celebrating with friends in Brazil. Sweet!!
Last night I watched the Matrix for the first time ever in my entire almost 30 years of my life. Imagine that! It was quite interesting, and of course there were few times I was kinda lost in the movie and didn't quite understand. I'm usually not that typa person who watches super high effects movies, but it was good, very good might I add.
When I fly home in December, Im goin home to a brand new house/home. It's exciting, but very strange because that is just not what I expected in my life I guess...sure it's nice to have mom n dad, but to move back in when I already moved out and now...hi mom n dad, make room for me I need to fill in your space. Then again Im not really moving in for good...But I think I still have to consider my life soon, kinda like making a plan or order, but a big part of me doesn't really want to.
Sometimes I feel like I will just get on great without much super education and his favor resting on me. I mean I don't have to work n work to get to something, but I dunno. IT could happen and it also could not, but for the time being I will be optimistik and think I can do all things and accomplish, fulfill my dreams and make a living one way or another with my dad's help of course. Life is as what you make it to be. I think it's a choice whether you want to really live.... i think, i could be wrong, but you can disagree.

Ethnic food?

So all of us staff were invited to have lunch over at the Allums and it was oh so ymmmy. We had Costa Rican food, rice n veggies covered with something that kinda looked like scrambled eggs but I couldn't really tell what it was. Anyway it was fantastic and we all got to see Lulu! It was a great day in spite of the constant drips from the sky. THe food was amazing and needless to say I had sugar...lemon tart s. Man I wish I could say it was only one tart... I'm feelin a bit depressed about this now. This is really hard. I had m&m this morning 3 to be exact and so that began my ride down the hill. Hard times..............................
So last night at 11:24pm, me and Hannah (my co partner from sugar strike) went out of the building and into the car and off to the highway to Dominion.... a grocery store that opens 24hrs and bought m&ms and reeses pieces and both ice cream each. We failed big time. We got back in time (6 min late)to do the curfew run in the hallways. So what do we do after? ate and talked and went to bed. Munchies...dunno how to overcome. Brushing my teeth at 9 pm used to work for me, but not any more. So ya...failed. I can't do it even with a friend. I'm really not liking this.
And Jack just got back. We went to the airport to pick him and sure enough he was there waiting for us, slightly late but we made it. Then I got my chocolate and distributed more in the office as we all sat around to mingle as we all ate some galaxy. Now the result from eating nasty today is an upset stomach. Im gonna try again tomorrow see if I can do better. amen

14 days

WoW I havent blogged in 14 days!! And NO! I was not fasting on Blogging. I was jus out and about and almost too much everywhere. And we've been banned from goin on myspace so that took every high technological stuff off of my fingers. so here I am updating my so called life in the som world. life is good and my papa's still treatin me real good. This week though, I am goin on a fast...NO sugar. Of course that is quite impossible since almost everything is fructose and lactose.... that didnt sound right. anyhoop....all that me and Hannah are plannin on doin is cut very low on the sugar, no chokolate...SO Hard! and Jack is comin back tomorrow with all the uk chokolate and I also want to stop for a while *$. and also junk food and just lil things here n there. please pray for me peepster. this is MaJor stuff for me. These addictions are like having an affair...it's dead wrong sinful cause im replacing that longing for sweetness than longing after him...o ya, its the cravings of this world... o my i think this might be bigger than I thought. Help me God! amen.