tears are a language?

I noticed that I’ve been crying for two days. not long ones at all, but short ones, but I find them so healing. For some reason, I felt the tears more than I normally do. Almost like they had more meaning to cry. Perhaps all other tears were coming out of pain, but these tears I’ve shed have touched something deep in me and made me appreciate tears because of the sweet release that came with it. I’m intrigued. So if tears are meant to be shed, then so be it. Let them fall. They come out beautifully and bring a sense of satisfaction like none other. Appreciate, embrace, accept and love tears, for they do you real good. Let them fall where they are meant to fall. It’s all on good ground that I am sure. goodnight for now.

wow

I met someone yesterday. I saw perfection. I never felt like this before. It was almost magical, almost indescribable and mesmerizing. I was in awe that a person could reach into my soul and make my heart react. I loved an unseen being for 9 months and I got to hold him yesterday and it was just wow. He touched my heart and melted.
I could say more, but perhaps another time. I need more time to soak this in.

You can't always get what you want

Theme of my life right now. Surrendering to no. I must be honoring and respecting to this.
I'm thinking it's not my season to pursue that one dream... I thought today that maybe I shouldn't have my roots deeply rooted in this region where I kinda call home. So that thought brings me some peace and hope that another door will open in the near future. I find myself that I still won't say my home is blah blah blah but I seem to throw out, I'm originally from Mistissini but moved around and thus more of an outsider... I'm going 35 in a few hours and I find myself with nothing to show of what I've done or accomplished in life. I failed marriage and I got over that and now it's a career I'd like to build upon. Perhaps I should just leave & go to school and get a business degree of some sort. As much as I respect my own leaders, I would rather be my own boss :-) I'm also looking into buying a house, so I can rest my head & say I'm at "home" that would be the greatest day for me.

A dream

I reckon I had a very interesting dream. I had a friend and she jumped into this extremely deep water fall or somehow looked like a hole. I actually landed in the end, but I couldn’t find my friend. Soon after she jumped off, I jumped off too. I see her hit the wall on her way down. I came back to the surface to this auditorium and I could see people looking toward me almost in anticipation... waiting for an event to start and there were three aisles and on each aisle, I seen 3 or 6 men standing as if they got told to freeze from moving further. I went in the back and did this u turn and as I was on the other end believe I was in a small room about to get on the stage or something.... can barely remember the dream... interesting though!

January First Twenty Twelve

I have gone through many emotions today. It's been a good day. I had a couple hours of solitude. I love those times especially in the city. Feeling alone when you’re among city slickers. I hope to pay attention to my emotions this year and actually make a phone call to friends & family. I hope to be more up close & personal. I hope this technology won’t overtake me and digitalize my beloved ones. Everyone deserves time. I will not buy material things to get your love or work my way to get your approval. Time will tell where my heart is and I hope that it will be a display of beauty that I see in you.