I see snow

it keeps melting, bit sad. come back whitey.

<,.?>'";{:]\|!)(#*$&%^~`\+=/

It don't make sense.

You know, the only time I seem to release or find myself express how I feel is when I'm alone. I imagined someone coming in to the living room while crying and thought I'd be wiping my tears and not even bother to tell what's going on. It's very strange of me, yes I know and for so long, this is how I lived my life and now I can't seem to break out of it. I did wonder what I would do if Papa came over to sit with me... I think I'd be able to say something, but what would be the outcome of it all. That's where I get stuck.

Anyway, had a strange day the other day. Here's some of what went on.

I got a call from a neighbor at 7 am or so to inform that there were dogs tearing a moose hide just outside our place. Did I care? Was that so important? who knows? Maybe I was supposed to care. Moose hide is good for making mitts and moccasins and what not. He called 3 times only because I couldn't catch the phone or had difficulties answering the phone. click, back to bed.

Breakfast - in go my Eggos. almost a minute later, beep, beep, beep, pop up... too pale for me, round 2, off I go outta the kitchen. Not a minute later, burn them Eggo things. Nothing else to eat so I humbly eat them away

O I got a text! a friend wants to visit. more coffee to brew! it's not often I get a visitor randomly as this is not my home but my parents home.

knock, knock. hello, is your mom here? no! here's a check for your mom. how nice!!! o thank you. bless you :)

Lunch - reheat a slice of pizza from yesterday's leftovers. off I go outta the kitchen. This time for more than 5 minutes. Totally forgot about the thing in the oven. I didn't have much other options of what to eat, so I chewed on a crispy slice and jojo didn't seem to mind it.

O I got a text! a friend wants to come over. what to drink now, let's offer cranberry juice. Sweet times they were.

Dinner - popcorn on the menu. And no, it wasn't burnt. I succeeded!I passed the kitchen tests.

Night activity, my cousin came over to watch glee and a movie from her iPad. At the same time, I also watched Bon Jovi on youtube whilst concerting in NY I think or somewhere in a city and facebooking at the same time and texting. gosh I hate technology sometimes. Well only when I let it overtake me into another world and not being with the person I am with. Today and all week, I will be with jojo. Our family dog. He loves me.

Strange day.

November Sun

Sitting here and there and trying on another spot to find a place of solitude... when and where?

I'm coming up from this valley. It's been quite lonely and difficult, but made it with a gentle loving hand. Some days I feel great and some days it's rather mellow and 'moments' where it's just painful. I'm glad to let it out as I feel these waves of emotions come flooding in and out.
I am no longer overwhelmed. I can do this with a clear head and know that I am not alone...

Sometimes I feel as though epiphanies come once or twice a year now. I may be so disconnected with everyone that I find myself lost, even in myself. I no longer try to connect. Could that be just wrong? I don't want to be selfish. I want to be merry where I am and who I am.

I'll be moving again though, perhaps that is all I need. Another move. Another place to call my home. Another venue. Another self I may find.

Story of my nomadic life!

I love this line-

"you're the only who brings me peace"

shalom

Life Without You

It's rather strange. I cannot get used to not have you here on earth. I know you're in an extremely far better place.

time for update perhaps

Fall has come. time to shop for new clothing, how I love to shop at this time of the year. A time to bundle up and share the love with a cupatea or something warm with friends. Cold drinks and beer are off the list. Time for chai tea. I kinda wish I had a bookstore to go to, not right now but in a couple weeks when I return to the southern parts of Canada, well not so south but you know what I mean.
I am back in the arctic for a couple weeks. It's real nice to be back even though it's just for a very short time. I've really been "happy" to be here once again. It's a different kind of happiness, maybe the word I am looking for is appreciative. I feel or am more aware of the love around me. Not that I was out of it, but routine can take away what's in front of you and what you have. It's like having the key bucket at the door way and never notice how beautiful or dirty it is until you pay attention to the things around you and to the people around you. Thank you arctic :)
I'm exploring a new venture... I am surprised that this would actually excite me. I never thought this would cause me to be passionate about. I guess I thought I'd always know what I want and will do. But I found that the circumstances that I've been and the people that i have been with this past summer, have caused me to realise that something new in me or was there but may have been dormant and now has come to "life". I never thought I'd be really interested in business or owning or being part of a company. All I know for sure is that I couldn't see myself working under an employer for a lifetime, not that I have issues with authority but I know how much i take great importance of my job. I know it's temporary and I know I want to give my best so I may reap what I sow into my work environment in the long run. I love being under someone. I was more or less honored because again I was chosen for a time to work with someone. I know I have high work ethics and want to do my best especially when it comes to challenges. I love the fact that my brain gets worked up and that I have to push an extra notch to make things happen or work as a team to come to a conclusion of a problem. who would have thought? I surprise myself and love the fact that I really enjoy this new discovery. So maybe it took this long for me to realise this passion in me and I give thanks for all circumstances and all the people God has put in my life.
Who knows maybe I will start something new after I am done with this new door opening to me. I can't say what we will be doing but once my hirerrr gets just about everything set for us to move, then and maybe only then will I be able to share my new job description.
In the meantime I will make the most of my time being the manger of front desk at the hotel back home. I love working with people and with a great team. But right now I must stay focused on the people around me and see what I am suppose to take back with me when I return. If it's just love then I will go home rich!
thank you papa for everything. you never fail me, not that you know how to do that :)

x

Spring Time

Far up here while down below everyone is 'spring'ing it, I celebrate the snow. Ever so white, a few yellow spots here and there mainly from the husky dogs. Ice fishing season is here so everyone around me says. I went yesterday and sure was great indeed, but I'm not sure if I could do it every weekend as some do. I think I'll pass.

Some things new... I recorded a song... on my laptop. It's kinda not that exciting as I only have the voice & guitar on it. And it's Cree so none of my non indian friends understand it. I graduated from a 2 week school #101 and more to come in the year I think. I had a word... peace in the middle east. I'm guessing in years time. I went to the capital of Nunavut this month to celebrate Easter.

I want to go home soon. I am looking forward to seeing familiar faces and work and play with my sweethearts and eat out & be with my fellow peepsters.

I've been wishing of having my own house in the last 6 months or so. I'd love to drive up that long drive way and see that beautiful view from the top. I may coming to an age where I would like to settle. Then I wonder what if I won't have that lifestyle like everyone else, well just about everyone I know.

Ever fear of something? future?

At times, I think I know what the future holds but I don't want to look there. I could be fooling myself. I do like to dream though and wish of this and that but not to the point where I want to make it happen. I have something in mind... :)

gotta run!

statements / truths

"we need to see one another as saint who sin, rather than as sinners who are saved."

"we define humility as trusting God and others with me. Therefore is a community lacks grace, that community is low on grace."

"trusting who God says I am lays the foundation for maturity."

"we cannot profoundly influence others, without maturing."

"striving leaves dysfunctional and immature because it creates hiddenness."


Get your copy of this book!!

Truefaced. By Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol & John Lynch

CAN I JUST ADD

that I love these authors and it has challenged my mind to agree what my heart knows. Get your copy.

I am on this new journey or another path of knowing what GRACE looks like & feels like and to walk & live it out.

So the word is

PEOPLE!
A place to meet. a place to chill. a place to be real. a place to exchange. a place of heart. People. I need you. You need me. This is IT!!!

bon saint valentin

so they say in French. I just finished watching the olympics. The canadians are feeling very lovey as we won gold. I forgot what love was but re discovered it again a bit more tonight. I wanna go home back to it. good night!